Here's some feedback you asked for. I've split up your impossible to read walls of text into much nicer, and slightly less gibberish walls of text paragraphs to read. I've also done some capitalization, and fixed up some grammatical mistakes I noticed along the way, which are marked in orange. I do hope you take this as constructive criticism and improve on it. Rather than be offended. This is not intended as an insult. Further more, some general advice when writing is to avoid long drawn out walls of text. Paragraphs, spacing, breaks, commas and periods... Are all important. And some light styling doesn't hurt either, Such as making a headline stand out a little. Hopefully this helps you out in the future. Good luck! And just as a disclaimer: I'm not a grammar nazi, my edit isn't perfect either. Really, I just wanted to make a point about walls of text. I see that too frequent around here. And I just never really bother to read them. Which is a shame, because who knows... It might have been something interesting. So please, if you are not pressing "Enter" enough, please start doing so. Spacing is a good thing.

Probably won't be a specific game mechanic designed around you earning money from making videos in-game. But that's just one of the things that doesn't need a game mechanic to work. You can just RP it. Make YouTube videos like you would, in IRL. Perhaps make it Identity related, and stay in-character? Be creative with it. Then other people can watch those YouTube video's on their TVs/PCs in-game. (Or out of game.) And you could ask people to donate to you in-game. (Though, personally, I tend to dislike YouTuber's who begs for likes and subs. If I like something, I'll like it.)

So your 'employees' will pay you to work for you? ... And they need to provide their own expensive car? Wouldn't someone who already have an expensive car have a decent job already?

I don't think he means to set taxes at 30%. I think he means whatever is collected from the X% of taxes he has planned, 30% of that will go to the police.

OOC: Only updated the profile pictures. Nothing else is changed. You can review the changes here: NEW: http://imgur.com/a/NyQkG OLD: http://imgur.com/a/2IKTp

@PhoenixFury I assume you mean the Photoshop files? I'll send youthe same files I've sent Jax once I get home.

Day 1: 0700 AM - Washington, DC - Zoey's Apartment I woke up to the sound of my alarm, it was a particularly sunny beautiful day. Ellie Goulding - Starry Eyed was playing on the radio. I went straight to my kitchen, made myself a cup of coffee, as I took a shower. Day 1: 0930 AM - Washington, DC - FBI Field Office - My office As I walked into my office, my phone started calling. It was the assistant to Assistant Director Skinner, to remind me about the meeting at 12 PM to discuss my transfer to the Identity Island. Day 1: 1200 PM - Washington, DC - FBI Field Office - Assistant Director Walter Skinner's office Skinner was already waiting for me, he was not pleased. I had managed to run a few minutes late. He wasn't too upset. And we got right down to business. He gave me a folder, containing all my transfer papers. Copies had already been sent ahead to the local authorities on the island. He also told me arrangements for transport had already been made. Note: Had I known back then, it was an old rusted car. I would have tried to push for something better. Unfortunately, they were unable to procure a safehouse for me to stay in. As the Island is still in development. Day 1: 0400 PM - Washington, DC - Airport After the meeting, I headed home, to start packing. I hadn't been staying in the apartment long. As I recently graduated from Quantico, and I had been traveling around. So packing didn't take long at all. I arrive at the airport, with nothing more but my clothes, badge, a service pistol, and all of my travel and transfer documents, including my new Identity passport. Took me a bit longer to get trough the TSA Agents than I would have liked, due to my service pistol. I understand though, they were just doing their job. Day 1: 1900 PM - Identity - Roseport After a couple of connecting flights, and a trip by boat. I finally step of the boat, on the docks of Roseport. Looking over the city. My new home. I was assured a man by the name of Jason Hicks would be waiting for me by the docks. He's an FBI informant we have in the area. After waiting for twenty minutes, he finally shows up in an old rusted car. He steps out of it, wand walks up to me. And gives me a hug. He's quite the strange man, and he sure talks a lot. I suppose that is a good thing for an informant. He handed me the keys, and says this is the car he was able to procure for me. We get in the car, and drive around a bit. Jason seems like he knows everything around here. Anyway, after a while. And hit up most popular hot zones around town. He tells me to pull out and park under a bridge. He wasn't quite clear, but it seems like he lives there. I didn't question it. He does however, give me an address. He claims he knows the location of a drug dealer. Who I might should look into. Day 1: 2200 PM - Identity - Roseport - Undisclosed address Jason, the homeless man, gave me the address to what he suspects is a drug dealer. My suspicious is that he refused to sell to Jason at some point, and this might be his revenge. None the less, I decided to check it out. I, guess, technically, I am homeless as well right now. Seeing as the only roof I got over my head is this car. I drive to the address, and I stay parked outside. Seems to be quite a bit of activity during the late evenings. Lot's of people going in and out. Definitively something is not right here. I decide to spend the night in the car. And take surveillance pictures. All I needed, was just one picture of exchange between money and drugs. And this would have been my first bust. Day 2: 0110 PM - Identity - Roseport - Undisclosed address I got woken by an officer knocking on my car window. Apparently, I had fallen asleep. I look over at him, and I saw a whole bunch of police officers, and SWAT people arriving. Clearly something is going down. While the officer outside my window is telling me to move along. I pulled out my badge, and showed it to him trough my window. And I stepped out of my car. I could clearly tell he was a bit surprised to see an FBI Agent in such an old rustic car. But he didn't say anything. Probably for the best. I ask him what's going on. And he fills me in on the reports of drugs going in and out of the place. And the suspects name is "Julian". I walk with the officer over to the rest of the SWAT gang, and I ask if he doesn't mind if I tag a along. I could clearly tell he was a bit reluctant to let me join. But I think he reached the conclusion that an extra gun could come in handy. Especially from the FBI. Al though, he never told me the real reason. I grabbed a spare bullet proof vest, and we prepared to breach. Day 2: 0123 PM - Identity - Roseport - Undisclosed apartment As we breach inside, we rushed trough every room. Our intel suggest there were only two suspects inside of the building. "Julian" and an unidentified white male, covered in white power tattoos. Quickly, the team managed to capture and subdue Julian. He was caught red handed flushing drugs down the toilet. In fact, the whole toilet was clogged up to the brink where water was overflowing. I can only imagine the embarrassment he must have felt when his face was pushing against the wet floor from the toilet water. I walked into the main living area, while the team cleared the rest of the apartment. That's when I saw someone running away on the ground outside, trough the broken window. I quickly holstered my gun, and jumped outside. I remember I grabbed a pipe next to the window, and slid down. And I sprinted as fast as I could after this unknown white male, with what I can only describe as white power tattoo's. However, I did not get a good look of the suspect. I saw him toss the gun over a fence, and kept running. I decided to keep following him. Unfortunately, my chase led me down a street. And last I saw of him, he turned a corner. And into an alley way. I followed, but as I arrived to the alley way. He was gone. I could not see any sewer holes, or doors he could have used to escape. I'll get him next time. Day 2: 0135 PM - Identity - Roseport I headed back to the officer, along with the SWAT-Teams. Seems like they have secured Julian. And is calling in the CSI to collect evidence. I hand him the gun I picked up from the backyard. Note: I later got word from the officer. The gun wasn't much help. The tag had been filed off, and no prints could be recovered. However, the bullet signature was still intact. But that's still being investigated. Day 2: 0135 PM - Identity - Roseport PD I finally made my way over to the Police Department, where I met the chief. And offered me my own private office for the time being. Where is where I am right now, writing this report. Signed, Special Agent Zoey Anderson (( OOC: Hope you don't mind me including some of your story here @Arky! I think it creates some interesting story arcs and interactions. ))

@Trashman This thread is 5 months old. Last activity from the OP was a day after @looper1235 said he was going to Ice him. So I guess it's safe to say he succeeded. And it's probably better to let the dead stay dead.

This looks amazing! Can't wait to actually play around with it myself.

Norwegian (As you may have guessed from my name. :P) and of course English.

But there is no game, all we have is the forums. You can easily just ignore me if you don't wanna play along. There's literally nothing I could do about that right now.

"Hmm... Funny to see you here, Mr. @DLimit. Are you sure you don't know about the Left Hand Mafia? Just a coincidence you're in the neighborhood?"

Welcome to the community! Hope to see you around. Hopefully, out of trouble.

@IDEN Right now, the forums are all we have to go by. Seeing as there is no game to play yet. The way I see it right now, the forum is just a public speaking place anyone may have their voices heard. And the "IC" threats, and investigations, and what not, won't matter once the game is out. It's just some light text based RP while we're waiting. It's not like I can actually walk up to you and arrest you for saying you're the Don of a crime family. Not yet anyway. But once the game is out, everything is gonna be different. And I'll have to gather actual evidence first. I guess my point is, don't hide behind a "meta" wall, when the game isn't even out yet. You're free to partake and respond as your character would. Or you're free not to.

You do realize he posted this topic in January 22? Several months ago. Someone just resurrected the topic not long ago.

@LuciousTimes Was that directed at me? Or the OP?

@Jax Alright. I'll see what I can whip up.

"Agent Anderson, to you. And I hope you have a good lawyer for when I catch you. You're gonna need it."

Here, have one for free. I guess I don't really see the point in them. Do they actually do anything? Like, give you free stuff? Or is it just for bragging rights?

@njayminsim1115 That's quite alright. Didn't do it for the likes. I do appreciate the support though!

@njayminsim1115 Do share if you find it. On another note, I'd really love some feedback. What I got right, what I got wrong. If anything should be changed. If this has been a stupid or silly idea. So far, I'm getting the impression people are liking it. Which is good. I'm thrilled. But there's always room for improvements. Edit: Is there also any way to remove that white line around the pictures?

@njayminsim1115 There's another reference in there as well, in both the documents. I'm not gonna tell you what it is, but I can say it is also related to the X-Files.

@njayminsim1115 All from scratch using Photoshop. Except for the badge. I found that on Google, pretty sure it's the badge they are using in X-files.

@JonathanTaylor We'll see about that. Eventually, the law will catch up with you.

I hope you don't mind, I included some pieces of your story in mind here. Feel free to let me know what you think. I can also remove it if you don't like it.